Side Effects

Each person reacts differently to chemo. And I, as it turns out, am a delicate little flower. Before each round of chemo, I have to meet with my medical oncologist to talk about my symptoms, which, up until round 3 have been pretty standard. But I am now really starting to feel like a cancer patient. As I listed the strange and peculiar things my body was doing at my last appointment, my oncologist confirmed that these were all being caused by the chemotherapy.

In addition to killing any rogue cancer cells joyriding around my body, it has left me very weak, breathless and easily tired. I went for a short walk yesterday and was dismayed at how difficult it was for me. I have hot flashes that leave me drenched – Fortunately I am bald (sarcasm) so that’s helpful. I have a chemo rash on my chest, back and neck. Oh, and this is new and scary – My eye balls are very sticky, watery and they hurt. Like a lot. The chemo has actually started to impact my vision and sensitivity to light, which I am told will eventually return to normal (it had better).

On the plus side, I haven’t had to shave my legs for months. And my head is quite literally, wash and go! Plus, I get to enjoy guilt-free naps whenever I want. Because of my diagnosis, I have been able to spend lots of quality time with my mom. I have also reconnected with old friends with whom I had lost touch over the years. I have a great cancer team who is working very hard to make sure that I am getting the best possible treatment and that this shit never comes back.

I guess my point is that it is very easy to get lost in the darkness of a cancer diagnosis (the treatment, actually), but as shitty as it is, it is not all bad. It makes me sad that it could be months before my body recovers from chemo, but at least it will eventually recover.